Woah guys, college is no longer. I just blinked and it was over. Am I an adult yet? Hardly. The reality check hasn’t been too harsh, and I am testing the waters of freelance photography. I will admit it’s all a little daunting. Not only do you have to be good at what creative services you are providing, but you have to be good at selling who you are. It’s no secret in the world of photography that people hire those they like to be around. You can’t really blame them though. Who wants to hang out with a complete schmuck during a full day shoot?
Drifting thoughts aside, I’d like to share an image I created that’s pretty quintessential of the feels that I feel…literally all the time. Obviously it has multiple meanings because I am all about ambiguity. Do you ever feel one moment you are drowning and the next you are like “Wait, no guys I’m totally cool. Seriously, I got this.” Story of my life. My ability to grasp on motivation towards creative endeavors is only so so at the moment. It’s not that I am burnt out, but once in a while my brain needs a break. I have to reconnect to the drive that landed me in this position (graduate of photo school. woo!) in the first place. Once you find it you have to nurture it. Sometimes we fall off that path because we learn so many rights and wrongs from so many people who have a dead set way of doing things. One moment we think we are creating all the right things then BAM! someone says something else is correct. You get pulled in so many directions. You stumble. You doubt the path you once believed in.
You know what? Forget them. You do you boo. No one knows you more than you.
Art is so subjective anyway. Who’s to say what is right? I’m right, your right…only if you think so though.
But dude, I know you are. So…happy dance/ fist pump? cool! 🙂
Eyes are so symbolic. I guess its a bit cliche but I can’t help myself. If you have been following my blog thus far, you have seen my obsession with meaning, or at least some glimmer of a meaning. You want to make people think. You want to create impact, even if its only for a small moment, because the satisfaction of creating work goes beyond finishing the piece. If you are an artist, there is a part of you that lives for introducing new work into the world. The drive behind your creativity is the need to express your thoughts through mediums in the hope that someone out there gets it. Or maybe your work is the reason someone is able to finally wrap their head around an abstract idea. Finally they have found something that makes sense to them, and they have you to thank. You will probably never hear from them, but the possibility of creating that moment for anyone is enough motivation for you. It is for me. Sometimes I forget it though. Isn’t it so easy to fall into a pattern? Wake up, do life, same as yesterday, sleep.
I know I am lucky. I was fortunate to fall in love with a passion I never tire of practicing. But man oh man, recently I feel as if there is not enough time in the day. For like, anything. I graduate in less than three weeks at 21 years old. A very young 21. If I think I have no time now, I must be kidding myself (at least that’s what your thinking, am i right?). The word “adult” is strange to me. I can hardly associate myself with it. And now I have to be one. Or at least fake it till I make it, as many of our teachers are reminding us as they push us out of the classroom environment. A huge part of me is scared. I’m afraid I will lose the time to nurture my creativity, or maybe even lose my motivation. I see so many artists and photographers losing the spirit that pushed them to create because they fall into the monotony of life. They become tired, drained, burnt out. I just have to remember that I have a responsibility to myself. As does everyone with passions they love and practice. You can’t work so hard to get to a certain point and then suddenly decide you are tired. It’s an excuse not worth backing up. And you know that. I mean, I don’t know if I am talking to myself, or if anyone feels these feels, but putting it out there makes me feel better. It’s harder to break a promise that you have proof of.
I guess today you got to read the contract I created for myself to not become a worn out artist. Today I made a promise not to be a quitter. You should too, because you owe it to yourself. And I believe in you! Yes!! Now I know you are 100% committed to not being a quitter.
On a side note, thank you to everyone following my blog! I started this almost a whole year ago (HOLY COW WHAT?!), and it’s nice knowing people actually read the sporadic wordy thoughts of my brain.
I like to have meaning behind my photographs. I suppose I am deep thoughtful person… 🙂 But I think its important to keep the message a little ambiguous. Then people can apply the meaning that is most relevant to them.
When I was in high school I wanted to shoot fashion. I suppose I had it in my head that I was a nifty thrifty trend setter who could bring a certain dramatic and quirky edge to fashion photography. I’d still consider myself thrifty (or cheap…), but I’ve long left the dreams of shooting tall models in long gorgeous dresses that would take me months of eating top ramen to buy. I quickly realized I was much more interested in capturing personalities and glimpses of a seemingly attainable happy lifestyles. Clothes are fun, people are better. But, there are times when merging fashion and lifestyle becomes seamless, and really communicates the feel you want. I’m infatuated with the relaxed Santa Barbara lifestyle, and that carefree feeling finds its way into my photography. Shoots like these remind me why I never want to leave.
I’m not gonna. Ever.
Thank you so much to my lovely model Alexis Ransom! She is a fellow photographer and you can follow her on instagram here: http://www.instagram24.com/aransom_photo
Okay guys, I’m back. I know how much you have missed my long ramblings about the brain. I mean, I know how much I missed rambling. There is nowhere for the piling up of creative thoughts to go except out, and in the form of words or work or whatever you choose. Actually, I have been doing a lot of work! I’ve got those last semester of photo school feels, and I’m feeling the pressure of the real world. Yikes! But if all goes as planned, I get to stay put in sunny Santa Barbara and hopefully continue my artistic endeavors. And of course, my sporadic ramblings on the inter webs. The images you see here was a project with one lovely Caitlyn Silkey (thank you girl!) and a plan to create a nerdy but gorgeous persona through photography. She was awesome and very understanding of my spontaneous shooting style, and she did a wonderful job transforming into this character. I would also like to give a shout-out to my rats Pinky and Brain for their first ever modeling gig. I am always stoked to follow through with a fun and quirky shoot like this because its such a walk in the park. I wish all shoots were like this….
I know i know…you have been dying to know how to draw another monster to adorn your homework. There is no exact steps when I draw mine. They just start to develop as I add features. So this little guy (lets name him Jerry) literally started as two circles and my brain didn’t have a clear picture of what he looked like until he was finished. He’s so cute. Look at his little shirt with a bitty tree on the front.
*sigh* I wish monsters were real (the cute squishy ones)
I love faces. I love how you can create a story just by seeing a face. Where have they been? Who are they? When I photograph people I want the image to be more than technically correct. I want expression to give more than that blank stare look we see so often on models faces.
Intrigue your viewers. Make them look twice or longer than two seconds.
Thank you to my lovely models (from top to bottom) Kaitlyn Hawkins, Thania Madere, and Nicolle Sims 🙂